Friday, January 16, 2009

back to some thoughts....

A lot of my blog now is about .... well two of the most time consuming things in my life right now, the baby constantly at my side, or on my back, or in my face- and the house, which happens to be taking all my money.

But golly gee, thinking about it this morning. I'm still me. I'm still the same person I've been for the past couple of years.

But here's the thing, I'm a little different.

My mind is a little divided now. I always have one eye on the little guy or one ear open.

But in another way I'm a lot more focused than I once was. My brain processes a lot more than it used to, I finally have some sort of direction I'm headed in and I know where I want to be in the next 6 months (hopefully living in that money draining house of ours) and even 3-4 years from now. That's just down right exciting to me.

I realized this week that so much of our time before being here in Illinois was obviously temporary. College, well we hoped that wasn't lasting more than four years. Dallas, what seemed like forever those first two years flew by in a blink and while I miss it so much, I mostly miss the people and the feeling of security we'd built around us there. I like the feeling of more permanence. Like it's ok if the project I start today doesn't get finished, because we'll still be here tomorrow. That's a comforting feeling. If I could live anywhere in the world, it might not be here (I'd love to live near the beach or in a big city) but I like who I am here and what I can accomplish here. Although I could accomplish more if a Target where closer....

So thanks to those who read this. Especially thanks for those of you who still read as my writing becomes less witty and more practical, a little less reflective, but more refined. Well hopefully refined.

In bloggy news. I'm planning a bit of a redesign and you'll see new buttons popping up along the sides as I go- so check them all out. I'll talk more about all of them as I go. I know I've been bad about Thankful Thursdays too, I promise I'll be trying to get back to those next week. I'm thinking up a theme to keep me going with them.

In other news. It's quiet in my house for now. Laura and Ella are in the air on their way to Spokane and Ryan is driving through Montana with Uncle Rick. This evening Andi and Corey get here for a weekend of fun. Better go wash the sheets on the spare bed!


Aleta said...

I liked the beginning of this post, how you said that you feel as though you are different. Life does that, especially with a child.

But your "different" was given in a positive light. Some of my friends have children and feel as though they are losing their identity as an individual and instead are only a Mom, not just "them". If that makes sense.

Laura said...

Very thoughtful stuff! I loved your town, and seeing the house you are putting so much into. Love the new blog look, too.